


Easy

by merelypassingtime



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25417714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merelypassingtime/pseuds/merelypassingtime
Summary: It would be so easy.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	Easy

Bucky looked down at the countless points of light shimmering on the street hundreds of feet below him for a long time. Finally, he let out a breath that was really more of a sigh and tightened his grip on the rail.

A voice behind him said, “It would be so easy, wouldn’t it?” 

Bucky whipped around, wildly searching for the speaker. There was a humorless chuckle, then a figure emerged from the dark corner where the railing met the building, walking lightly and surely along the top of the round handrail.

“What?” Bucky asked, not sure himself if he was asking what the figure had said or what it was.

The latter was answered as the person walked through a shift of light spilling out from the main lounge.

Purple shirt, rumpled jeans, blond hair- Hawkeye.

“It would be so easy,” he repeated. “Wouldn’t it? Just to lean forward, fall for a few moments, then-nothing.”

Bucky took a step back from the man, running into the guardrail. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don't you? I could be wrong I guess, but I’ve stood exactly where you are more than once, watching the city move and thinking just how much I didn’t want to be a part of it anymore.”

Hawkeye stopped about five feet away from him and crouched down still standing on the rail. He looked passed Bucky and out to the skyline.

“So,” he asked, “am I wrong?”

“I-” Bucky started, then stopped. He allowed his head to turn out into the semi-darkness too and continued truthfully, “It would be so easy.”

“Yeah, it would,” Hawkeye agreed. “Easy for you anyway.”

“And easier for everyone else here, too.”

“You can’t really believe that.”

“Can’t I?” Bucky said, hearing the bitterness in his own voice. “I’m nothing but a problem. A danger. A murder.”

“That’s not what Steve thinks.”

“Well, Steve’s blind then. All I’ve done is screw up the life he was building for himself. It would have been better for him if I had died on that mountain rather than dragging all this to his door.”

The other man shrugged, “Steve likes a fight, particularly against steep odds. If it hadn’t been over you, who knows what he would have gotten up to.”

Bucky snicked, he couldn’t help himself. Hawkeye-Clint, he remembered, was his actual name-clearly knew Steve pretty well.

Clint smiled back, barely visible in the dark. “At least he has his best friend here to watch his back and try to keep him out of even more trouble. Or, he does right now.”

Bucky froze, then let his shoulders slump. “You fight dirty.”

“I fight to win,” Clint corrected him.

He hopped from his perch down onto the deck, and Bucky was reminded of just how unfairly tall he was. Still not looking directly at Bucky, he walked diagonally by him to stop at the other side of the rail, now only two feet away.

“Steve’s not the only one who’d miss you either. It’d deprive Nat of anyone to curse in Russian with and seriously setback her and Wanda’s plans to start a rock band made of former Hydra assets. Plus, you know no one else will snark with Sam the same way.” He paused, then said softly, “Not to mention how much I’d miss you.”

Bucky shot a look at Clint and found that he was now facing him fully. When Buck met his eyes, Clint said, “You’re just sorta nice to have around, Barnes.”

Bucky shrugged, but didn’t turn away.

“Just something to think about,” Clint said with another shrug and a self deprecating smile. “Should I leave you to it, or would you maybe want to come inside and grab some coffee?”

Tentatively, Bucky returned the smile. “You know, it’s a little cold out here. Maybe coffee would be nice.”

“Awesome,” Clint said, stepping close and wrapping his arm around Bucky’s shoulder. “And maybe, if you’re lucky, I’ll even tell you what really happened in Budapest while we drink it.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, but leaned into the touch.


End file.
